


Damsels Lacking In Distress

by katling



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2019 [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Civil War Team Iron Man, I feel like I should add Darcy's cleavage as a tag, Lady Loki, M/M, Moderated due to trolls, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Clint Friendly, Not Steve Friendly, Not Wanda Friendly, Pepper is unimpressed, You'll see why when you read it, badass ladies being badass, not team Cap friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 19:44:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18037673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katling/pseuds/katling
Summary: You asked for it, my muses decide to play ball - What happened to the ladies inNot Your Damsels In Distress. You probably should read that one before this.Written for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019 - Square A3: Free Space (and, for that matter, BINGO! :D)





	Damsels Lacking In Distress

This wasn’t Pepper’s first kidnapping. She felt a weird sort of pride in being able to say that, as though being kidnapped was a some sort of merit badge to collect. Admittedly, this was only her second kidnapping but she was surprised to find that her previous experience made her feel very calm when this one occurred. Or maybe it was because she knew who had kidnapped her and quite frankly, she wasn’t impressed. 

Rogers was pacing around, his chest puffed out like a peacock and clearly thinking very highly of himself. Barton was slouched in a chair over to one side, sneering at them in triumph. Maximoff was alternately glaring at them and, when Rogers was turned in her direction, looking as sweet and innocent as she could. Pepper had marked Maximoff the moment she’d had her blindfold removed. Maximoff would have to be dealt with first after all. Pepper was not going to allow the witch to carry on with any of her despicable tricks. Wilson was the only one looking like he might have some idea of how much trouble they were in but every time he glanced over at Rogers, his face took on a particularly idiotic expression of hero worship so Pepper knew he’d be of no use.

Barnes was, of course, still in Wakanda, receiving ‘treatment’. In truth, his treatment had finished some months ago but he’d asked that Rogers and the other Rogues not be informed. Apparently, now that he was in full possession of his faculties, he was less than impressed with his bestest buddy and his friends. And Lang… well, he was back in San Francisco, in the proverbial doghouse, as he worked to regain Hank Pym’s trust and therefore get his suit back.

So, the only one truly missing was Romanov and that probably explained why this monumental piece of idiocy had occurred. The Rogues only had about two working brain cells between them and Romanov was usually the one in possession of both of them.

Of the ladies with her, only Gamora and Nebula and the Asgardian ladies looked as unimpressed as she felt. Jane and Darcy were both apprehensive but also faintly smug. Which she rather understood. Thor and Jane might be currently on something of a break (which Pepper predicted was going to last only a few more weeks based on the pining looks the two of them directed at each other and she made a mental note to nudge Tony in Jane’s direction to perhaps give her some tips about dealing with a boyfriend who had the potential to severely outlive you… though based on a few speculative looks she’d seen Loki giving Tony, she had her suspicions about certain apples that had been mentioned in the Norse legends… but she was digressing) but that didn’t mean the God of Thunder wasn’t going to be very angry about this.

Hope was glaring at the idiots who had kidnapped them and Pepper was rather amused to see that they were more than a bit intimidated by her. She wasn’t surprised. Hope had honed that glare on her father and Hank Pym was one of the most stubborn men Pepper had ever met… and she knew Tony Stark. 

Betty, on the other hand, was sitting calmly and looking both relaxed and _highly_ amused, as well she might.

“Mr Rogers,” Pepper said in a tone one might use to chastise a three year old. “I have no idea what you intend to get out of this nor do I particularly care because it’s not going to happen. I suggest you let us go right now or there will be a great deal of trouble.”

Rogers’ chin went up in a defiant gesture that wouldn’t have looked out of place on the three year old Pepper had imagined herself talking to. “Tony’s not going to do anything that would risk harming you.”

Pepper arched an eyebrow and there were snickers from a few of the ladies. “Oh, I wasn’t talking about Tony, I was talking about us.”

Barton snorted derisively and Pepper levelled a steady look on him that had him shrinking back involuntarily. Pepper made a mental note to send a very nice gift basket to Laura as a condolence present for having married such a monumental moron.

A quick glance at the other Rogues showed her that they agreed with Barton, even if they weren’t saying it, and Pepper rolled her eyes. She glanced around at the other women and got a series of small nods and, from Loki, a smirk. Pepper wasn’t surprised that the Rogues hadn’t figured out who the unknown woman was just yet. Loki’s female form was both similar to her male form and yet utterly different. She retained the pale skin and black hair and the slim build but there the similarity ended. No one would ever mistake Loki for being anything other than a truly handsome man but those features refined into the female form took on a beauty that was breathtaking. When Pepper had first seen Lady Loki, it had taken almost all of her considerable control to not fall over laughing and she had made a mental note to ensure FRIDAY took a picture of Tony’s face when he saw Loki. She wanted a souvenir of that moment.

“Mr Rogers,” she continued. “In this room you have the CEO of one of the biggest tech companies in the world who has also been personally outfitted by Tony Stark.” 

She gestured to herself and saw, much to her amusement, that the implications of that had sailed over the head of each and every one of the Rogues. Well, no one had ever accused them of being bright. Despite knowing about many of Tony’s toys and having seen many of them in action, they hadn’t bothered to take her watch away from her.

“The CEO of a rising tech company doing some truly astonishing work in miniaturisation.”

Once again the implications seemed to go over the heads of the Rogues and Hope rolled her eyes. Pepper knew that Hope never went anywhere without her Wasp suit, an easy task for her because she could miniaturise it down to something that might be mistaken for a doll’s costume.

“Two people under the close personal protection of Thor, the God of Thunder – one of whom is one of the leading minds in the world and the other who is _also_ personally outfitted by Tony Stark.”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the way Darcy bounced in her chair in contained glee. The sparkle in the young woman’s eyes told her that she absolutely still had her Tony Stark-made tazer on her and that Barton and Wilson had not found it when they’d been searched for weapons. A second glance at the _unholy_ amount of mischief in Darcy’s eyes told Pepper _exactly_ where Darcy had hidden it. And the sudden spate of slightly constipated expressions on the faces of the other women told her they’d all figured it out too and were struggling not to laugh. 

She continued as serenely as she could manage. “Four of the _finest_ warriors in the known universe.”

Gamora, Nebula, Sif and Brunnhilde all abruptly had the same smug expression on their faces and Pepper almost laughed at the sudden wariness in the Rogues. It seemed like a bit of sense might be creeping in, though it was, of course, far too little and far too late.

“The Hulk’s most _favourite_ person in the _entire_ world,” she continued with a sort of saccharine sweetness that got tiny snorts of laughter from the other women.

Barton and Wilson both twitched and glanced around worriedly at that but Rogers and Maximoff seemed unconcerned. More fool them.

“And last but far from least, the God…” She paused and inclined her head slightly in Loki’s direction. “I apologise. The _Goddess_ of Mischief and Tony Stark’s lover.”

Barton froze and turned to stare at Loki who smirked so perfectly that there was no doubt as to who she was.

“So, you see, Mr Rogers,” she said sweetly. “You have far more to worry about right here than with what might be coming.” She looked around. “Ladies? Shall we?”

The room was suddenly a flurry of activity as the women, none of whom had been bound in any way, burst into action. For her part, Pepper activated her watch gauntlet and had no hesitation in firing it at Maximoff. It was a blast that was quickly followed up by Loki’s magic, which wrapped itself around the witch’s neck and wrists and left her screeching ineffectually as she clawed at the glowing green magic. 

While she and Loki had been dealing with the witch, Darcy had tazered Barton, who had then been dragged out of the way by Darcy and Jane. Hope and Betty had advanced menacingly on Wilson who had quickly folded in such a way that told Pepper that possibly Romanov only had one of the Rogue’s two brain cells today and Wilson had been left with the other. Sif, Brunnhilde, Gamora and Nebula had rounded on Rogers and even without their weapons, were having little trouble with him. 

In fact, from the look of it…

Pepper chuckled and shook her head. “Ladies? The rest are down if you’d like to stop playing.”

The four warriors played a quick verbal game, which Pepper assumed was an equivalent to Rock, Scissors, Paper because Brunnhilde crowed with triumph as the other three grumbled. The Valkyrie suddenly stopped playing around and sent Rogers flying with a well-placed punch to the jaw. When Rogers slid to a halt on the other side of the room, he didn’t move and Gamora and Nebula moved to restrain the unconscious super soldier as Sif congratulated Brunnhilde.

Pepper gave a nod of satisfaction then walked over to the pile of handbags that had been placed on a table and fished out her cell phone. 

“Hello, Jim,” she said when her call connected. “It’s Pepper. I’m afraid we’ve been kidnapped.” She paused to listen to his response then laughed. “No, we’re fine but the Rogues aren’t.” Another pause. “Yes, it was them. Really. Really really. You’d best come and pick us up.” She laughed again. “Oh, good. Yes, I’m afraid she missed all the fun. Well, she can enjoy tossing them into the cells at the Compound.”

She exchanged a few more pleasantries then hung up and looked around. She gave a satisfied nod and put her hands on her hips.

“I’m sorry your day out with us was ruined, Loki,” she said, dismissing the Rogues for the moment.

“On the contrary,” Loki replied. She was sitting on one of the other tables, her legs crossed demurely as she smirked at the restrained Rogues. “This was a delightful diversion and what a lovely present for Tony, bringing these fools to bay and locking them up for good.”

Pepper laughed. “You’re right. It will be a lovely present for him.” Her smile turned wicked. “And so will you.”

Loki smirked. “That _was_ rather the point.”

Pepper smiled and shook her then headed for the entrance to wait for Carol. It wasn’t quite the girls’ day out she’d planned but it had certainly been a satisfying one.


End file.
